BOY RANT Part 1

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As a single girl in her early 20s I've had plenty of experiences with boys... some good, some bad, some TERRIBLE! So I thought I'd share some complaints, advice & just random stuff about my dating years with you all!!!

(I don't know how helpful this will be, but hopefully it'll be very entertaining..)

Now being a girl in the 90s I grew up watching A LOT of fairytales & being as addicted to TV as I am I watched shows like Boy Meets World & expected guys to act like Cory Matthews or Prince Charming in real life.. unfortunately it took quite a while for me to learn that that in fact was FALSE!

I started having crushes on boys in my class probably in Pre-K. Of course I won't discuss the elementary days of crushes on boys with cooties and such, but I guess we can start in about 6th grade with my first ever "boyfriend". 

----this is a true story.. *names have been changed for privacy reasons*

I had a HUGE crush on Kyle* all year & finally at our first school dance he asked me out! I was floored & of course said yes. Now our relationship was quite short lived as many middle school relationships are. It was also filled with soap opera equivalent drama. We never spoke in person for all of the 5 days we were "dating". We didn't go to a movie or have lunch or anything. We talked on the phone... (this was before texting) I would accuse him of flirting with another girl on the track team & he would tell me I was being crazy and jealous... Yes very mature. Then one day in the cafeteria as I was eating a bag of salt & vinegar potato chips with my friends he walked up to my lunch table and said "We're breaking up" then walked away. I was devastated thinking this was my first love & that I would be alone forever. I spent the rest of the day in the bathroom crying. 

This was a very appropriate start to my love life for the next 10 years. & From this the advice I'd give you is to never take a relationship too serious when you haven't even gotten your first period.. 

This experience also taught me that honesty is usually not a guy's best quality (not ALL guys) but many if not lying about how they feel about you, how you look in your new dress, or how he feels about your best friend will lie about being able to fix the plumbing or change your tire (don't ask me why, I still don't know). Why in this instance & many others would a guy even ask you out when he clearly didn't want to date you? He wasn't getting anything out of it for those 5 days, so why make me so happy to just make me so sad. (This is another question I don't think I'll ever have an answer to) I would've much rather never dated him and just crushed on him indefinitely. --- This was my thought process in 6th grade, but as you get older you realize that each and every crush, relationship, and even flirt teaches you something about yourself & leads you to the next moment where you could meet your soulmate. 

---skipping quite a few years here.. I'm sure eventually I'll get to those awkward years

Again as you get older & watch more TV shows & movies and see guys look like this you assume that when your high school crush takes his shirt off he'll look like this too... very unlikely. But this is what we go through all the boy drama for. In hope that one day we'll get to marry a man who looks like this.. again very unlikely.

In high school I was the biggest romantic ever! I thought that everything a guy did meant he liked me. A smile, walking to class, a text, but that is very unlikely, especially in high school. Now a days dating in high school is harder than ever with about 90% of interaction being through texts or the internet.

Now I don't mean for this to sound negative or cynical, because even after the many many unfortunate experiences I've had I still believe I will find love one day & so can you. But from those experiences I've found that the best way is to be open to new experiences, take risks, & don't let fear of being rejected stand in your way. A little hurt will make you a lot stronger, but a paralyzing fear will make you always wonder "what if".

Although I am single & you might think taking dating advice from someone who is single is the dumbest idea ever, I appreciate ever relationship I've had and don't regret anything because it led me to now, where I am happy & satisfied with being single.

This is something I would tell to any girl who wants a boyfriend. STOP TRYING! When you can be happy with yourself & content being single that is when you have the most confidence & guys like that! Ever single time that I stopped paying attention to if a guy liked me or noticed me & just lived my life for me, I met someone. I know it sounds like a cliche but that person will always come along when you least expect & when you're not looking for it. If you can be happy without depending on a boy that is the most attractive thing. You should want a boyfriend to fit into your life, not define it. If you like someone don't let that over power you. Don't drop your friends to see him, or break plans because there's a chance he might call you later. You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

-Sorry this post was quite unorganized & random but I hope you enjoyed it! If you want me to do another boy rant or dating advice post let me know in the comments!!! Also let me know if you want a video about self confidence on my youtube channel! Feel free to e-mail me for advice in a specific situation.. samanthannyt@gmail.com

Love is when you find that imperfect person that you see perfectly.

xo Samantha Ann

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